Lessons from The Dark Side

When people ask me how I’m doing these days, I know that it’s not meant in a casual sense of “Hi, how are you?”. It’s more like “How are you?” with a look of sympathy, care, and concern. Usually I say I’m pretty good (b/c if I’m even out and about and talking to people, it’s usually because I’m feeling well that day), but I’m never really sure how honest I can be in those situations. Do they really want to hear about my nausea, hair loss, lack of taste buds, dry mouth, dry skin, acne rashes, and stomach problems? :) Sometimes just talking about these topics can be so depressing! If anything, I’m trying my best not to get depressed and just focus on the positive. I constantly have to remind myself that things could be soo much worse in terms of side effects. I think people typically have visions of chemo patients throwing up over the toilet, but so far, I haven’t vomitted once, which is great I guess? Losing hair was much much harder than I thought it would be, but thanks to cold caps, I’ve saved maybe 35% of my hair. However, no combover is going to hide anything, so get used to me in lots of beanies for a while! The other side effects can quickly add up to be big annoyances as well, but what’s been great for me is just focusing on the holiday season and spending time with friends and family.

If anything, I feel “lucky” that I’ve had so many distractions to help me get through this – not only the holidays, but also Star Wars. Sounds weird to say, but anticipating The Force Awakens release and being able to watch it (twice!) in between chemo treatments was such a huge blessing. Seeing all the crazy and diverse merchandise was so cool and overwhelming at the same time! I especially loved all the new Star Wars merchandise from Her Universe and this Darth Vader jacket totally takes me back to the Lady Vader cosplay I made a few years ago. So much hand quilting went into his costume so I love all the detail they put into this piece. If there’s anything we learned from Darth Vader, it’s that there can still be light among the dark side! Definitely words I’m taking to heart during this season of my life!

The Goods:

• Darth Vader Jacket (Her Universe, buy here)
• Oversized Tee (Brandy Melville, buy here)
• Side Zip Leggings (J.Crew, buy here)
• Accessories: Wide Brim Fedora (Forever 21), Necklace (Forever 21)
• Quilted Ankle Boots (Zara, similar here and here)